Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts

Saturday, August 20, 2011

New Testament Lesson #34 "Keep the Ordinances, As I Delivered Them"

1 Corinthians 11-16

PREPARATION

Prepare three gift boxes or gift bags that each contain the ingredients for cookies or cupcakes or some other treat.  Ask three class members ahead of time to assist in the following role play.  Make enough of the treats at home to share with the class members and hide them somewhere outside the classroom in a location known to the third class member.

You may also want to draw the timeline used in the section "Developing Spiritual Gifts" on the very top of the chalkboard before class.

OBJECT LESSON

Give a wrapped gift to each of three class members. 



Class Member A does not even reach out to take the gift, but ignores you, walks away, and sits back down.  Ask the class, "Have you ever been given a gift that you did not open?  Can you even imagine leaving it there like that without even finding out what it is?  Crazy!"

Class Member B takes the gift, opens it to see what it is, and expresses confusion about what it could be good for.  She digs around in it, and says she doesn't know what to do with it; it looks like it's just a bunch of miscellaneous food staples.  She thinks that's an odd sort of gift--not what she was expecting.  She sets it down and walks away.  Ask the class, "Have you ever been given a gift that you did not understand or appreciate?"

Class Member C opens the gift and is also confused about its purpose, but he returns to the giver (you) to thank you and ask what he should do with it.  You whisper something in his ear, and he says, "Oh!  That's a good idea!" and leaves the room with the gift.

In a moment, he returns with the prepared treats and passes them among the class members.



Ask the class, "Aren't you glad Class Member C accepted his gift, learned how to use it, and shared it with all of us!"

THREE WITNESSES OF THE SPIRITUAL GIFTS

About 55 years after Christ, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians to correct errors in their congregation.  He knew that there was an ever-present problem of disharmony between the Jews and the Greeks, and so he gave a marvelous written discourse telling the saints that God had wonderful spiritual gifts for them to share with each other, and he itemized some of those gifts, and encouraged the saints to seek them. 

421 years after Christ, Moroni was the last righteous man alive on the American continent.  He wandered to and fro, keeping himself and the priceless plates of scripture hidden from the wicked civilization around him.  At one time, he thought he would soon be found and killed and so he buried the plates.  But as time went on and he was still alive, he dug them up again and wrote a little more since there was still space on the last few.  He knew that no one of his generation would ever read them.  He knew that he was the last man on the threshold of the Great Apostacy, as it took place in America.  He knew, also, that there would be a Restoration.  And so he added The Book of Moroni, a handbook of instructions for the restoration of the true church on the earth.  The very last thing Moroni included in his book was a list of the spiritual gifts that we must seek, and which God will give to us if we come unto him (Moroni 10).  After that, he wrote the title page of the Book of Mormon on the very last leaf of gold, and buried the plates for good.

Paul and Moroni, having lived 300 years and half the world away from each other, never having been members of the same civilization, writing their scriptures in completely different languages, wrote the selfsame list of gifts.  Obviously, they got these lists from the same Source, transcendant of time and place.

1831 years after Christ, in Kirtland, Ohio the Prophet Joseph Smith received a revelation on how to conduct church meetings and run church congregations.  Guess what this revelation included?  A list of spiritual gifts for which members of the congregation should seek (D&C 46).  Since this was a revelation from God, it should not surprise us too much to find that it is the very same list as given to Paul in 55 A.D. and to Moroni in 421 A.D. 

In the mouth of three witnesses, the Lord established his word.

VERIFICATIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS

Have the class open their scriptures to 1 Cor. 12:1-11, and take turns reading the verses aloud as you (or a class member) itemize the 9 gifts listed in the blackboard.

The purposes for having three witnesses are so that the witnesses can both verify and clarify each other.  So let's look for verifications (which would appear as similarities) and clarifications (which would appear as differences) in Moroni's and Joseph Smith's lists.

Have one side of the class read Moroni 10:8-17, and the other side of the class read D&C 46:17-27.  As they find something that is either the same as or in addition to Paul's list, have them raise their hand so you can check off the item already listed, or add it to the list. 

If you want to clarify the gifts further, please refer to Elder Oaks' article, "Spiritual Gifts," in the September 1986 Ensign.

AN INFINITE NUMBER OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS

"One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power, position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable.

"From D&C 46:11–12, we have this truth:  "For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God"...

"...From the Book of Mormon, particularly 3 Nephi, chapters 11 through 26, when the Savior Jesus Christ showed himself to the people on the American continent, many gifts are referred to as being very real and most useful. Taken at random, let me mention a few gifts that are not always evident or noteworthy but that are very important. Among these may be your gifts—gifts not so evident but nevertheless real and valuable.

"Let us review some of these less-conspicuous gifts: the gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still, small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the gift of being a disciple; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer; the gift of bearing a mighty testimony; and the gift of receiving the Holy Ghost" (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, "There Are Many Gifts," Ensign, November 1987).

Elder Ashton expounded upon several other gifts:  the gift to ponder, the gift to look to God for direction, the gift to hear and use the Small Voice, the gift to calm others, and the gift to care for others.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote, "Their purpose is to enlighten, encourage, and edify the faithful so that they will inherit peace in this life and be guided toward eternal life in the world to come...Faithful persons are expected to seek the gifts of the Spirit with all their hearts."  After itemizing those listed in the scriptures, as we have done, he added, "And these are by no means all of the gifts.  In the fullest sense, they are infinite in number and endless in their manifestations" (Mormon Doctrine, p. 314-315).

SPIRITUAL GIFTS MUST BE DEVELOPED

They are called gifts, because "they are freely available to all the obedient" (McConkie, p. 314), not because they do not require any effort on our part.  Just like the gifts that members of our class received today, spiritual gifts do not come ready-made.  We must thank the Lord for our gifts, ask Him how to use them, practice and develop them continuously, and share them with other, and He will give us more.

Joseph Smith had the marvelous spiritual gift of translation of an unknown language in order to give the world the gift of the Book of Mormon.  He was given the gift of translation when he was given the plates, but he had to develop that gift.  It is a fascinating and instructive example of the work required by the Lord of one who receives a spiritual gift.  (Keep in mind, also, that Joseph was not able to work without interruption because of moves, work, persecution, etc.)



(This information comes from my personal notes taken during a BYU Campus Education Week lecture, given August 19, 1999 by Bruce Woolley, BYU professor, Notebook 4, p. 31.  The same information can be found in Opening the Heavens: Accounts of Divine Manifestations 1820-1844, chapter 3, edited by John W. Welch.)

Draw a timeline on the chalkboard dating from September 1827 to June 1829, with individual months marked above the timeline.  As you tell about each event below, mark an X on the timeline.

  • 9-27-1827: Joseph Smith received the plates.  For three months he almost daily dug them up and reburied them to keep them hidden from his enemies until he found a safe situation.
  • 12-1827:  For the next three months, he practiced translating, until he finally had some characters figured out.
  • 2-1828:  Martin Harris took the finished characters to Professor Charles Anthon in New York City for verification of the translation.
  • 4-12-28:  The translation began in earnest with Martin as the scribe.  In two months and two days, the Book of Lehi was completed.
  • 6-14-28:  Martin Harris took the Book of Lehi (116 pages) to show his wife. They were stolen.  The gift of translation was removed from Joseph Smith, as were the plates themselves and the Urim and Thummim.
  • 9-22-28:  After a three month period of repentance, all was restored to Joseph Smith, but there were no fruits to the effort so far.  Joseph started back at ground zero re-developing and relearning the gift for six months (twice as long as before).
  • 4-7-29:  Oliver Cowdery began as scribe and translation once again began in earnest at the Book of 1 Nephi.
  • 5-15-29:  Mosiah 18:8-10 was reached, and in answer to prayer regarding the passage, John the Baptist appeared to Joseph and Oliver and they were baptized.
  • 6-1-29:  Joseph had moved to Fayette, NY and reached Ether 5 where he read about the importance of three witnesses, whereupon he prayed for witnesses to the Book of Mormon, and his prayer was answered.
  • 6-11-29:  The Book of Mormon was finished and the copyright was obtained.  Joseph had translated the entire book in 60-65 days, a rate of 3,100 words per day!  Although Oliver Cowdery had excellent penmanship, you can see from the photograph below that he had to write sloppily because of the great speed required as Joseph dictated.


Joseph Smith asked Oliver Cowdery to make him a copy.  It took Oliver three times as long to copy it as it took for Joseph Smith to dictate it.

Seeing that Oliver Cowdery came into the process after Joseph had worked for months to learn it, we can understand why he thought he would be able to quickly translate when he asked for the opportunity, and why he quickly gave it up when he didn't immediately succeed.  (See D&C 9.)  He did better than Class Member A, who didn't even receive the gift, but he was like Class Member B, who didn't expect to have to work to produce the gift given her.

SPIRITUAL GIFTS DEVELOP CHARITY

Returning to Paul's itemization of the spiritual gifts in 1 Cor. 12, we see that he next expounded on the need church members have for each other's gifts.

"For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ...

"If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?...And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of thee; nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.  Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be [lesser] are necessary...

"Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular...

"Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?  Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret?  But [seek] earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way" (1 Cor. 12:12, 15, 21-22, 27, 29-31).

What is the "more excellent way?"  It is explained immediately in Chapter 13.  (Remember:  Paul did not divide the chapters.  It was all just one letter.)  The spiritual gifts, he wrote, were nothing but a cacophany ("sounding brass or tinkling cymbal") if used without charity.  No matter what great spiritual gift you may have, if you do not exercise it with the motivation of love, your gift is useless, it "profiteth you nothing."  The purpose of the gifts is to serve each other, to knit us together.  If it were not so, each of us would have been endowed with all of the gifts, so that we could be completely independent in our spiritual journey.  But it is in the plan of God for us to need the gifts of others, as well as our own gifts.  We are all "one body" with its "several parts."  So never should we bemoan the fact that we have different gifts than someone else--it is meant to be that way.  Our job is to seek out our own, and use them with charity.

So Paul gave us the very familiar and famous definition of what it means to exercise a spiritual gift with the pure love of Christ, Chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians.

In addition to reading aloud this chapter in the King James Version, you may want to read some of the passages in the New International Version (available online at this link) or the New Revised Standard Version (available online at this link) for some helpful clarification of the Old English words.

For my personal interpretation of verse 8, please refer to "A Formula for Success" in a previous post.

RECOGNIZING OUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS

We must each take upon ourselves the lifelong challenge to find and develop our spiritual gifts for the benefit of others.  How do we discover them?  When we find that we have done something that has benefited someone, that is a clue that there is a gift there.  We may find we possess the gift of friendship, the gift of awareness of other people's needs, the gift of singing, the gift of encouraging, the gift of teaching, the gift of testimony, the gift of understanding children, the gift of making others feel comfortable, the gift of being cheerful, the gift of thinking deeply, the gift of complimenting others, the gift of working hard, the gift of visualizing the beauty of a finished product, the gift of cleaning, the gift of cooking, the gift of listening, the gift of reading aloud, the gift of organizing...as Elder McConkie said, the number of spiritual gifts is infinite.  And remember that we must all seek the gift to love others--all others--or our gifts are useless.

A beautiful way to end may be to ask class members to identify spiritual gifts they see others in the ward or branch as possessing.  If you have a large class, just ask for volunteers.  If you have a small class, go around the room identifying special traits of each class member (which you have prayed and thought about ahead of time) and encouraginging other class members to add their thoughts on each other.  Doing it this way will ensure that no one will feel left out or like they are the last one chosen by their peers.  If you're into handouts, you may want to prepare a little bookmark with "To Every One is Given a Gift by the Spirit of God" and the name of the student at the top, to which you can add the gifts identified in class, and give it to the individual to keep in their scriptures.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

New Testament Lesson #10 "Take My Yoke Upon You, and Learn of Me"

Matt. 11:28-30; 12:1-13; Luke 7:36-50; 13:10-17

Our lesson starts with the beautiful scripture:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).

WAIT...WHAT?

How does this saying jell with all those other things Christ said?  Things like:

"He that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me" (Matt. 10:38).  A cross is not an easy burden! 

"Every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life" (Matt. 19:29).  That doesn't sound easy!

"One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me" (Mark 10:21).  Okay, trading in everything you have for a cross?  That does not sound like a good deal.

And what happened to all those early Apostles who did this?  Did even one of them die a natural death?  No.  They were all martyrs for the cause.  Was that an easy burden?

And even in our latter-day luxury, as members of the Church, we are required to give all that we possess, our time, our talents, everything!  There are a whole lot of commandments, expectations and demands imposed upon us by our religion. 

How is that easy?

THE PARADOX OF THE CHRISTIAN WAY

A paradox is a "statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth" (Dictionary.com).  Christ's Way is very possibly the greatest paradox that ever was.  David H. Stern, a Messianic Jew (a Jew who believes in Christ), states it this way:  [Christ] speaks of his own easy yoke and light burden.  These two are sometimes contrasted in a way implying that in comparison with Judaism, Christianity offers 'cheap grace.'  But this saying...must be put alongside remarks such as [the "take up your cross" scripture].  The easy yoke consists in a total commitment to godliness through the power of the Holy Spirit.  It at once requires both no effort and maximal effort--no effort, in that the necessary moment-to-moment faith can not be worked up from within but is a gift of God; and maximal effort, in that there is no predeterminable level of holiness and obedience sufficient to satisfy God and let us rest on our laurels" (Stern, p. 44).

So how does it work?  What does this paradox really mean?

THE COST AND BENEFITS OF DISCIPLESHIP

Camille Fronk (Olson) listed five ways in which our burden becomes light when we are yoked with the Savior.

1) We can dispose of unnecessary baggage:  sins not repented of; sins repented of but still dwelled upon in guilt; being judgmental or competitive; worldly aspirations; grudges.  We are warned against many of these pitfalls in the Sermon on the Mount

2) We can gain sustaining power through the covenants we make.  They are the primary source of power in life.  When we covenant, God promises to bear us up.

3) We get mutual support from other saints, as agreed in our baptismal covenant.  There is a synergy in the Church.  We help each other, and we gain wisdom from each other's trials without having to personally experience them all ourselves.  We rejoice with each other, and our joy is doubled.

4) The Lord makes us stronger.  We build spiritual muscle through consistent use.  We learn step by step, line upon line.

5)  Christ teaches us how to carry burdens, how to be "meek and lowly of heart."  We learn from him how to never be weary of well-doing, how to be patient in trials, how to submit to God's will.  Jesus knows how to carry a heavy burden.

The vendor in the picture below illustrates how a yoke helps--with the yoke, he can carry a much heavier load than he could with his arms.  Because of the leverage and balance provided by the yoke, the burden is distributed so well that it feels significantly lighter than its actual weight.  The vendor is able to reap the benefits of the heavier burden in his sales.  The yoke is a tremendous boon to him.


THROWING OUT THE YARDSTICK

Until we take Christ's yoke upon us, we expend a lot of effort checking to see if we have given enough to the Savior.  We have our checklist of commandments.  We have our Mormon culture that adds even more to the checklist.  We have things we need to give up in our lives, and things we need add.  When we try to keep track of our checklist of individual commandments, it is as if this vendor were trying to carry all of these items in his arms.  We don't find the burden easy until we give ourselves over completely, and that is why Christ taught us to "Love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you" (Moro. 10:32).  When we take up the yoke of Christ, we throw out the scales and the yardstick.

"It sounds so hard to give in a trusting, unmeasured way.  And yet it is the measuring that wears us out...It is precisely this exhaustion the Lord is adressing when he says, 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest'...

"Once I believed that I could give well-being to others with no yoke at all--by telling them that they were wonderful just the way they were.  Now I know...I was trying to give them pride.  It must surely have stood in the way of their peace.  A yoke is necessary, I now know, but not a heavy 'checklister's yoke.'  It is the light burden and the easy yoke of giving your whole heart--doing all you can and looking to the Lord to make up for your inadequacy...We can have peace...It comes through identifying that the need of our heart is grace, and that grace comes when the motivation for our unmeasured doing is founded in love" (Rasband, p. 29-30).

A FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

This leads us into one way in which Christ teaches us how to carry heavy burdens so that they will be light.
There is really only one commandment: To love.  "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Gal. 5:14).  There are many different ways in which to express that love, including making and keeping covenants, serving in the kingdom, learning about our Savior, giving up our sins through the Atonement.  Often we get confused and base our obedience not on the real commandment, the commandment to love, but on some fear-based motivation.  Therefore, almost every "commandment" we "keep" can be either a heavy burden or a light and joyful burden.

There are two principles of the gospel that work hand-in-hand with love, forming a magnificent trio with which we can "do all things through Christ which strengtheneth" us.  They apply to our very salvation, but they also apply to everyday situations and problems.  In order to achieve goals, make changes, repent of sins, magnify our callings, or make any positive, permanent steps toward becoming more like Christ and receiving his peace in our lives, we must exercise faith, hope, and charity.  These three comprise a true formula for success in any righteous endeavor. 




"Christ truly said...If ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto me" (Moro. 10:23).  "Faith is a principle of action and of power...True faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action" (Bible Dictionary, Faith).  Faith refers to the works that you do to create the change.  Your faith must be based on Jesus Christ and his ability to help in you in order for it to have full effect.  Exercising your faith gives you reason to hope for change, even "hope for a better world," both in this earthly existence and in the next life.

"...Hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast" (Ether 12:4).  Hope seems an unassuming, ethereal principle, but it is absolutely essential to this process.  "If ye have no hope ye must needs be in despair; and despair cometh because of iniquity" (Moro. 10:22).  What?  Despair is a sin?  What is the sin?  A lack of faith in Christ.  (See "The Miracle of Peace" in a previous lesson for more on this.)  Faith and love form the breastplate of righteousness, but hope is the helmet, the vision, the perspective, the frame of mind that makes the other two efficacious (1 Thess. 5:8).

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth.  Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all..." (Moro. 7:46).  Why is charity essential?  Because it is the only thing that works!  Let's look at a familiar scripture:  "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained...only by [the attributes of charity:] persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness...love unfeigned..." (D&C 121:41).  Let's revisit this scripture, not worrying about what we ought to do.  "No power or influence CAN...be maintained..."  It isn't just that we should have love; it is that love is the only motivation that will work to effect lasting change.



Plug this formula into any problem you are having, any sin issue you need to overcome, any relationship challenge, any habit you would like to change, any goal you would like to reach, any trial you must endure, and you will find that it is a true formula for success.

Let's take a change that is easy for many to relate to:  Getting in good physical condition.  If the motivation is self-loathing because of your past sloth and overindulgence, and embarrassment over your extra pounds, you may succeed for a while, but eventually the feelings of resentment and deprivation will take over.  For lasting success, the motivation needs to be love-based:  gratitude and respect for your mortal body, greater energy to do the things you love, ability to enjoy nature more easily, longevity of life, etc.  Any motivation that is not love-based is fear-based and works in opposition to the mind of Christ.  "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Tim. 1:7).

You must also exercise faith.  You must take action.  You must employ a fitness plan that is based on true principles so that you can have faith in the process.  The guidance of the Spirit can help you know which path to take.  You must have faith that Jesus Christ will help you to succeed.  Therefore, you must also have a knowledge that your goal is in line with his plan for your life.  This can be validated through prayer and the ensuing personal revelation.  You must also have faith in yourself and in your ability to change with the Savior's help.

And you must not overlook hope, which so many often do!  Hope is the expectation, the vision, the attitude of success.  You must be positively focused at all times, even when--especially when--the going gets rough.  You need a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish, and an expectation that it will come to pass.

Without an ongoing state of hope, you will lose faith and stop action. 

Without the action of faith, you will lose hope or have a false hope. 

Without love, you will run out of patience and energy before the process is completed with the resulting change solidly in place.

The divine formula of faith, hope and charity is one way that Christ's easy yoke makes our burdens light.

BOTH HARDER AND EASIER

C.S. Lewis wrote:  "The ordinary idea which we all have before we become Christians is this.  We take as starting point our ordinary self with its various desires and interests.  We then admit that something else--call it 'morality' or 'decent behaviour,' or 'the good of society'--has claims on this self: claims which interfere with its own desires.  What we mean by 'being good' is giving in to those claims.  Some of the things the ordinary self wanted to do turn out to be what we call 'wrong': well, we must give them up.  Other things, which the self did not want to do, turn out to be what we call 'right': well, we shall have to do them.  But we are hoping all the time that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes.  In fact, we are very like an honest man paying his taxes.  He pays them all right, but he does hope that there will be enough left over for him to live on.  Because we are still taking our natural self as the starting point.

"As long as we are thinking that way, one or other of two results is likely to follow.  Either we give up trying to be good, or else we become very unhappy indeed.  For, make no mistake: if you are really going to try to meet all the demands made on the natural self, it will not have enough left over to live on.  The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you.  And your natural self, which is thus being starved and hampered and worried at every turn, will get angrier and angrier.  In the end, you will either give up trying to be good, or else become one of those people who, as they say, 'live for others' but always in a discontented, grumbling way--always wondering why the others do not notice it more and always making a martyr of yourself.  And once you have become that you will be a far greater pest to anyone who has to live with you than you would have been if you have remained frankly selfish.

"The Christian way is different: harder, and easier.  Christ says 'Give me All.  I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You.  I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.  No half-measures are any good.  I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down...Hand over...the whole outfit.  I will give you a new self instead.  In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.'" (Lewis, p. 1076-1077).

THE REST OF THE LORD

Now let's go back to those early martyrs.  How was the yoke easy and the burden light for them?  We will let Paul answer for himself:


"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulations worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Rom. 5:1-5).

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God" (Rom. 8:28).

"If God be for us, who can be against us?...For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom. 8:31, 38-39).

"Why face life's burdens alone," President Howard W. Hunter asked, "or why face them with temporal support that will quickly falter?  To the heavy laden, it is Christ's yoke, it is the power and peace of standing side by side with a God that will provide the support, balance, and the strength to meet our challenges and endure our tasks here in the hardpan field of mortality."

SOURCES:

David H. Stern, Jewish New Testament Commentary
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, quoted in The C.S. Lewis Bible
Camille Fronk [Olson], "
The Cost of True Discipleship," BYU Women's Conference, May 1999
Howard W. Hunter, "Come Unto Me," Ensign, November 1990
talk given at BYU Women's Conference, May 1999
Ester Rasband, Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem
Joseph Fielding Smith, Gospel Doctrine, p. 58

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Doctrine and Covenants Lesson #45 The Family is Ordained of God

(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children...Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations" (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

Of course, this responsibility to teach our children to joyfully live the gospel is more easily said than done. Each one of our children is different than any other child who has ever lived. The circumstances of every person's life is different than every other person's life. The variety of situations we can come across in raising a single child is staggering. There is no parenting manual that can cover every contingency, so how do we get it right? There is only one way: We must be in constant touch with the Spirit of the Lord. The Lord knows our children, and can tell us exactly how to deal with every situation.

"And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive" (D&C 11:12-13).

To be able to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, we must have faith (1 Nephi 10:17), and hope (Romans 15:13), and charity (Mosiah 3:19). In turn, as we heed the Holy Ghost, he will give us more of these three qualities (Mosiah 3:19). Faith, hope, and charity and the guidance of the Holy Ghost will lead us and our families to Eternal Life (Ether 12:28; Moroni 10:21-21).

THE PROBLEM WITH PERFECTIONISM

During his mortal ministry, Jesus said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matt. 5:48). After his resurrection, he said, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect" (3 Nephi 12:48). Of course, the implication here is huge. Even Jesus, who committed no sin, was not perfected in this earthly life.

Why is it important to know this? Because giving up the illusion that perfection is possible in earthly life allows us to be patient, and that attribute is absolutely necessary for the exercise of faith, hope, and charity, and for our eventual perfection. "But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing" (James 1:4).

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM BUILDS OUR FAITH

If everything in life went as we expected, as we thought was fair, we would never have need to exercise faith. Conversely, understanding the truth that this life is not going to be perfect, fair, or logical (to our minds), means we won't react with shock and disappointment when something unpleasant happens. Instead we can remember that this unwanted circumstance is an opportunity to trust in the Lord. "We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable" (Elder Robert C. Oaks, "The Power of Patience," October 2006 General Conference).

In our family, this principle was most powerfully taught to us as we tried to adopt a child from Russia. The short version is that after my husband had spent several years working on a joint U.S./Russian project, we felt powerfully guided by the Lord to go to Russia and look for a four-year-old girl to join our family. The first adoption we attempted became "stuck" as, before the paperwork went through, the child's birthmother decided to try to come back to her daughter after she was released from prison. We were bewildered as we felt the Lord had guided our steps, and now we were at a stalemate. As we continued to ask the Lord what to do, and as the opportunity to adopt other children became available, the answer to our prayers for a year and a half was always the same: "Just continue in the same direction." Then our facilitator emigrated to America, leaving us high and dry without any connection in Krasnodar. This was a great trial to our faith.

But suddenly, a different path opened up: Through an on-line adoption support group, I found a new facilitator in Krasnodar, who immediately took up our case, looked into the situation, and then sadly told us it was hopeless. "But," he wrote in an e-mail, "it is my experience that when this happens, it means God has another child for you." These words went straight to our hearts as truth, and we knew it was finally time to let the first child go. A few days later, we received an e-mail with five photographs of a beautiful little four-year-old girl, with a melancholy expression, who was available for immediate adoption. The first photograph made my heart skip a beat. I felt it was the Spirit telling me, "This is your child." Our facilitator had chosen this child because she looked like the first one. The Department of Education let us easily adopt her despite their opposition to our large family, because the previous administration had already approved us. They believed we were sincere, because we had waited two years without giving up. They were impressed that we were able to speak some Russian, which the two-year wait had allowed us to learn. In addition, the long delay allowed me to study and learn a great deal about foreign and older child adoption and attachment, which was immensely helpful in our daughter's successful integration into American family life. She even fit every article of clothing I had purchased or made for the first child two years before. And there is also the possibility, although we will probably never know, that our persistence in trying to adopt the first child may have actually cleaned up her birthmother's life and reunited the two of them.

The first photo we saw of our daughter.

A situation that was hugely imperfect (in our eyes) allowed us to learn to trust in the Lord, and that trust led to the perfect resolution. "Now faith is the [assurance] of things hoped for, the [proof] of things not seen." (Hebrews 11: 1, using Greek alternate words) The assurance that past problems were resolved successfully proves that other "catastrophies" will work out well, under the Lord's supervision.

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM INCREASES OUR HOPE

"...Neither can ye be saved in the kingdom of God if ye have not faith; neither can ye if ye have no hope. And if ye have no hope ye must needs be in despair; and despair cometh because of iniquity" (Moroni 10:21-22). Hope is so important a principle that failing to exercise it is "iniquity!" When we expect perfection, it is easy to give in to despair, because somewhere along the way things will go wrong, at least according to our plan. Then we find ourselves breaking the Savior's commandment to "be of good cheer" and that iniquity brings us to despair (D&C 78:18). But we can "inherit the promises" when we exercise the "full assurance of hope unto the end" (Hebrews 6:11-12).

"Hope we have as an achor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec" (Hebrews 6:20). Inasmuch as Jesus was made perfect beyond the veil in the next life, his Atonement makes it possible to hope that our families may also be perfected there.

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM ALLOWS US TO FREELY LOVE

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering [elements of patience], by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness [elements of charity], and pure knowledge [the guidance of the Holy Spirit], which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile...Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God..." (D&C 121:41, 45, italics added).

In order to lead others, it is necessary for us to be patient with others, to love them deeply, and to be guided by the Spirit. We are commanded to exercise this kind of patience and love towards all of our family members, not just to those who are presently following the gospel plan (the household of faith). Love is not just the method that ought to be employed in order to influence others; it is the only way we can influence others.

As we look around us, we can see evidence that God loves each person, regardless of where they stand in life and in gospel understanding, and He extends His tender mercies to them. Despite being perfect Himself, He is infinitely patient with His imperfect children, and will keep the way open for them to come closer to Him. Every step, however small, that a person makes toward God will be rewarded by Him, and another step will be encouraged. Though our progress may be slow, He continues His offer to lead us along, to the last day of our lives on this earth. "The scriptures warn us, 'Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance.' But, in this life, it is never too late to repent" (Elder Neil L. Anderson, "Repent...That I May Heal You," October 2009 General Conference).

IMPERFECTION BLESSES US

It is an ironic gospel truth that the perfect condition for this mortal existence is imperfection.

The fallen state of this earth and its inhabitants allows us the perfect opportunity to grow in faith, hope and charity, and to rely upon the influence of the Holy Ghost. As we do so, we will be lead with our families safely to exaltation if we "continue in patience until [we] are perfected" (D&C 67:13). For "God...will render to every man according to his deeds: to them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life" (Romans 2:5-7).