Helaman 13-16 with The Celestial Pyramid Game 2.0

Helaman 13-16

It's time once again to play the...

CELESTIAL PYRAMID GAME (Version 2.0)

Some of you will remember the American TV show, "The $10,000 Pyramid."  To win $10,000, the contestant would have to guess the category of each box in the pyramid in order, while a partner slowly read to the person items in the category.  The Pyramid itself had a category which the player also had to guess after guessing each box's category.  And of course it all had to be done in a time limit.

This pyramid game won't earn anyone $10,000 but it has more important categories!  To prepare the game, make 10 numbered squares out of paper.  On the back of each square list the category.  The teacher reads the items in the category, and the class members guess the category.  (The entire class is on the same team.)  The teacher can give clues to the page number or verse number in the scriptures if needed.  When the class guesses the category of Box #1 (or comes close), the teacher turns the box or square over to reveal its category.  Commentary and discussion of the topic can take place, then the class moves on to guessing Box #2, and so on until they reach Box #9.  They then must look at all the categories and decide what the category of the entire "Celestial Pyramid" is, upon which Box #10 will be turned over and the class has won the game.

BOX #1: REASONS SAMUEL THE LAMANITE PROPHESIED (Helaman 14:11-13) (Look for the key word "that")

• So they would know about the judgments of God
• So that they would be aware of their sins
• So that they would know how to repent
• So that they would know that Christ was coming to redeem them
• So that they would recognize the time when Christ would come
• So that they would believe in Jesus Christ 

BOX #2: WHAT CHRIST'S ATONEMENT DOES (Helaman 14:15-18) ("Redeem" and "resurrect" seem to mean the same thing in this passage.)

• It redeems mankind from the effects of the Fall
• It resurrects all men
• It brings all men back into the presence of the Lord
• It allows for repentance
• It allows the repentant to escape the second death (hell) which also means they will arise in the first resurrection to glory and eternal life.  (See also Rev. 20:6, 14; Jacob 3:11; Alma 12:32)

BOX #3:  PROPHECIES THE NEPHITES LIKED (Helaman 13:27)

• "Do this, and there is no iniquity"
• "Do that and ye shall not suffer"
• "Walk after the pride of your own hearts"
• "Walk after the pride of your own eyes"
•  "Do whatsoever your heart desireth"

BOX #4: THINGS THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THE NEPHITES IF THEY DID NOT REPENT (Helaman 13:8-10, 15:1, 17)

• The Lord will take the scriptures and prophets away from them
• The Holy Ghost will withdraw from them
• The Lamanites will turn against them
• Their houses will be left desolate
• Their pregnant women will be left to perish
• In 400 years they will suffer devastating war and disease 
• They will be utterly destroyed

BOX #5 SIGNS OF CHRIST'S BIRTH WHICH WOULD APPEAR IN AMERICA (Helaman 14:3-7)

• Great lights in the heaven 
• A night that does not get dark
• A new and unusual star
• Many other amazing celestial events
• People will fall to the earth with astonishment

BOX #6  REASONS GOD CURSED THE NEPHITES' RICHES (Helaman 13:21-23)

• Because they did not reverence God
• Because they did not thank God
• Because they were proud
• Because they boasted
• Because they envied each other
• Because they fought over material possessions
• Because they persecuted the poor
• Because they murdered to get gain
• Because they had set their hearts upon their riches

BOX #7  HOW NEPHI COMPLETED SAMUEL'S MINISTRY TO THE NEPHITES (Helaman 16:4-5)  (Samuel, upon delivering his message, returned to his own country.)

• Baptized new converts
• Prophesied
• Preached
• Cried repentance
• Showed signs and wonders
• Worked miracles among the people

BOX #8  SIGNS OF CHRIST'S DEATH THAT WOULD APPEAR IN AMERICA (Helaman 14-20-29)

• The sun, moon and stars will disappear for three days
• There will be mighty thunderstorms
• There will be huge earthquakes that will alter the face of the Americas
• There will be tempests and tsunamis
• Cities and highways will be completely destroyed
• Graves will be opened and the dead will arise
• Angels will appear to people

BOX #9  REASONS THE LAMANITES WOULD OUTLAST THE NEPHITES (Helaman 15:4-14) (Regarding verse 4, bear in mind that there is only one Hebrew word that expresses distaste, and it is translated as "hate."  The specific meaning can only be determined by the context in which it is used.  Here it seems to refer to "not blessed.")

• Because the Nephite prophets preached the gospel to them and the majority of them believed it, beginning with the Anti-Nephi-Lehies
• Because the ANL's reverenced God
• Because the ANL's kept the commandments
• Because the ANL's kept the Law of Moses
• Because the ANL's strove with unwearied diligence to convert their brethren to the gospel
• Because the ANL's were firm and steadfast in the faith once they are enlightened
• Because the ANL's repentance was permanent

BOX #10:  THE MINISTRY OF SAMUEL THE LAMANITE (Helaman 12:2-5)

THE POWER OF A RIGHTEOUS MINORITY

It is interesting to note the powerful works wrought by minorities in this story.

1. Samuel was in an ethnic as well as religious minority: a Christian and a Lamanite among the Nephites.  He saved many Nephites by his prophesying, although he didn't get to see it personally.  Instead he got shot at, a minority-aimed "hate crime."
2. In his own land, there were a great many Lamanites who had previously (maybe 70 years before) been brought to the truth by alien minority members in their land:  Ammon and his companions, who were Nephites and Christians.  (More on this here and here.)  
3. A minority of righteous Nephites unknowingly prevented the destruction of Zarahemla by fire from heaven.  (A meteor? A lightning storm? A volcano? We'll never know exactly what Zarahemla escaped.) 
4. The Lamanites converted through the efforts of Ammon 70 years before, the "Anti-Nephi-Lehies," were specifically noted in this passage as the reason the Lamanites would not ever be destroyed, even if they apostacized again, and that they would eventually be brought back to a knowledge of the truth as an ethnic group.  This is an epoch example of a promise from the Lord that the righteousness of covenant-keeping parents will preserve their children and bring them back to the fold.  (See this link for similar latter-day promises.)  "Righteous minorities" within families can help to save the rest.

Alma 36-38

Alma 36-39

Post on the board before class:  "What is the best counsel your father/mother ever gave you, and how has it affected your life?"

Alma had spent nine years teaching the people of Nephi, enjoying throughout that time greater or lesser degrees of success.  At the end of this time, many of the people began to return to their old ways, and he felt very downhearted.

"Now Alma, being grieved for the iniquity of his people, yea for the wars, and the bloodsheds, and the contentions which were among them; and having been to declare the word, or sent to declare the word, among all the people in every city; and seeing that the hearts of the people began to wax hard, and that they began to be offended because of the strictness of the word, his heart was exceedingly sorrowful." (Alma 35:15)

So what did he do about this situation?  He redoubled his efforts in his own home and with his own family.

"Therefore, he caused that his sons should be gathered together, that he might give unto them every one his charge, separately, concerning the things pertaining unto righteousness.  And we have an account of his commandments, which he gave unto them according to his own record." (Alma 35:16)

This is a very good example for us of what we can do when the world around us seems almost beyond improvement: Do what we can at home.  The importance and the far-reaching effects of teaching the gospel to our own children and grandchildren in our own homes cannot be overemphasized.

Since I don't have any pictures of Alma with his sons, 

I'm shamelessly substituting pictures of 

my own cute husband and kids.  

(I didn't ask his permission; I'll ask forgiveness instead.)  

This is our oldest son Nick, third son Andrew, and Gary, 

at Cirque of Towers, Wyoming on a Scout "high adventure" trip, 2002.

THE VALUE OF A PARENT'S COUNSEL

 Invite all class members to be thinking about the question on the board, whether they decide to share their answer with the class or not.

Hopefully everyone in class had at least semi-good parents, but there may be some people in every ward who suffered at the hands of abusive parents.  In that case, it is good to remember the words from the movie "God's Army:"  "At least you've always got your Real Father."  We all have the blessing of the counsel of our Real Father through the scriptures and prayer and other means of revelation.  So hopefully, this lesson does not exclude anybody, and we will be able to learn from the good counsel others have received in our ward and in the scriptures so we can pass that along to our children.

Alma knew the value of a parent's teaching.  He himself, in the depths of despair over his sins, remembered his father's words, and they saved him.   (Alma 36:17)  When he really wanted to know what to do, those words came back to him.  And so Alma wanted to give that blessing to his own sons.  He called them all together, but gave each individualized counsel.

There were three sons:  Helaman, Shiblon and Corianton.  Chapters 36 and 37 are to Helaman, chapters 39-42 are to Corianton, and Shiblon at first glance seems overlooked, a real "middle child syndrome" situation, with only one little chapter of his own, chapter 38.  But if we examine these more closely, we can see exactly what Alma was trying to accomplish.  We can see that he was a very wise parent.

COUNSEL TO HELAMAN (CHAPTERS 36-37)

First, to his oldest son, Helaman, Alma gave the great chiastic poem about his conversion, which we have already studied in a previous post.  (You may want to give handouts of the chiasm to class members who may have been absent that day.)  This must have been carefully worked out and written down as something that would be passed on to future generations because of the complexity of it.

Ask:  What impressed you about the counsel to Helaman?

Alma reminded Helaman to counsel with the Lord, words which every Latter-day Saint should have underlined in his or her scriptures:

"O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.

"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day."  (Alma 37:35-37)

The rest of the counsel to Helaman involves, for the most part, one subject and that is the scriptures.  Helaman was the new steward over the scriptures, as we see in 37:1.  His father's counsel could have left no doubt in his mind about the importance of preserving the holy words.  In verse 8 we can read, "the [records] have enlarged the memory of this people."  Remembering is so important!  All through his counsel to all three sons, Alma keeps emphasizing, "Remember!  Remember!"  We should study the scriptures in order to remember the goodness of the Lord to his people throughout history, and we should keep our own writings, our own journals, in order to remember his goodness to us in our own lives.  If we record spiritual experiences, our journal can be a real faith-strenthener to us in times of trial.  Without writing them down, we tend to forget, or to trivialize them later.

Helaman, as the new keeper of the records, also was going to be the new prophet.  So the words Alma gave to him were in this context:  for the benefit of the whole church.

COUNSEL TO SHIBLON (CHAPTER 38)

Ask:  What did you like best about the counsel to Shiblon?

Although Shiblon got the smallest chapter of all, his is the most personal and the most complimentary.

"And now, my son, I trust that I shall have great joy in you, because of your steadiness and your faithfulness unto God; for as you have commenced in your youth to look to the Lord your God, even so I hope that you will continue in keeping his commandments; for blessed is he that endureth to the end.

"I say unto you, my son, that I have had great joy in thee already, because of thy faithfulness and thy diligence, and thy patience and thy long-suffering among the people of the Zoramites.

For I know that thou wast in bonds; yea, and I also know that thou wast stoned for the word's sake; and thou didst bear all these things with patience because the Lord was with thee; and now thou knowest that the Lord did deliver thee." (Alma 38:2-4)

 Gary with our second son Nate on his priesthood ordination day

Alma's only counsel to Shiblon was to do in the future what he had done in the past:

"And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day."  (Alma 38:5)

Alma then told how he knew this, giving a condensed version of his conversion story to Shiblon, who undoubtedly had heard it many times before.  And then he counseled Shiblon to continue as he had begun (verse 10), and to stay away from pride, passion, idleness, and self-righteousness.  His final word (well, almost the final word) of counsel is a curious one to those who are concerned with "building their child's self-esteem":  "acknowledge your unworthiness before God at all times." (verse 14)  Why is this so important?  We'll see when we study Alma's words to his third son, Corianton.



(All of the photographs on this page were taken by me, and I hold the copyright, but you may copy them for personal, home, or church use if you so desire.)

Enos-Words of Mormon

Here is my chart of the compilation of the Book of Mormon.  Hooray!  I was able to get Blogger to post it!  The post is too small to read, unless you have amazing vision, but you can click on it to pull it out of the blog, and then you can right-click and save it as a picture.  Then you print it as a full-page photograph.  (All the tricks we have to come up with to get around Blogger's and my limitations...!) 

(Thanks to our current ward Gospel Doctrine teacher who saved a copy of this from when I taught years ago!)

ENOS

The prophet Jacob, the brother of the prophet Nephi, stated at the beginning of his book the instructions given him by his brother.

“…Wherefore, Nephi gave me, Jacob, a commandment concerning the small plates, upon which these things are engraven.  And he gave me, Jacob, a commandment that I should write upon these plates a few of the things which I considered to be most precious; that I should not touch, save it were lightly, concerning the history of this people which are called the people of Nephi.  For he said that the history of his people should be engraven upon his other plates, and that I should preserve these plates and hand them down unto my seed, from generation to generation.  And if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the heads of them upon these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for Christ’s sake, and for the sake of our people.”  (Jacob 1:1-4)

When he passed the plates on to his son, Enos, he related those instructions.

“And, I, Jacob, saw that I must soon go down to my grave; wherefore, I said unto my son Enos: Take these plates.  And I told him the things which my brother Nephi had commanded me, and he promised obedience unto the commands…”  (Jacob 7:27)

A side note:  A French word suddenly appears at the end of Jacob:  adieu.  Weird, huh?  Why would Jacob have used a French word?  Well, he didn’t, of course.  French wasn’t even around then.  It was Joseph Smith who used the French word.  In translating the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith had to find words that conveyed the meaning of the Reformed Egyptian words.  The word adieu was in common usage in New England at the time, and it meant “towards God,” sort of like "God be with you."  Joseph obviously felt it a fitting equivalent to Jacob’s farewell in Reformed Egyptian.

Enos kept the commandment that his father had given him, and he chose to write about a specific personal revelation he received.

“And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.”  (Enos 1:2)

THE EFFECTS OF FAITH

The Book of Enos is a short study in faith:  How it is obtained, how it is used, and the effect it has upon a person.  Let’s work backwards to discover the process in Enos' life:

“And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest.  And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my father.  Amen.”  (Enos 1:27)

So we see the effect of great faith in a man at the end of his life:  He felt fully confident of receiving peace and joy in the next life and of hearing the welcoming praise of Jesus Christ at the judgment.  Wow!  Wouldn’t this be a great way to exit mortal life? 

Backing up just a little, we can see one effect faith had in the life of Enos:

“And I saw that I must soon go down to my grave, having been wrought upon by the power of God that I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ.  And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world.”  (Enos 1:26)

His faith, which led him to preach the gospel all of his days, brought him great joy in his life, greater than the pleasures the world offers.

Enos had preached and prophecied because he had a great love for his people, the best definition of love being “seeking for the spiritual development of another.” 

“…I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them.”  (Enos 1:9) 

The Lord assured him that he would bless the Nephites “according to their diligence in keeping the commandments.”  So then, Enos’s heart went out in love to his enemies.

“And after I, Enos, had heard these words, my faith began to be unshaken in the Lord; and I prayed unto him with many long struggling for my brethren, the Lamanites.

“And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith.”  (Enos 1:12)

ASKING AND RECEIVING

Enos had asked that if the Lamanites should outlast the Nephites so that there was no more hope of the Nephites helping to convert them, that at least this record of their preachings and prophesying might be preserved and eventually reach them to bring them back to the Lord, “for at the present our struggling were vain in restoring them to the true faith.  And they swore in their wrath that, if it were possible, they would destroy our records and us, and also all the traditions of our fathers.” (Enos 1:14)

“Wherefore, I knowing that the Lord God was able to preserve our records, I cried unto him continually, for he had said unto me: Whatsoever things ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.”  (Enos 1:15)

Really?  Anything we ask, we will receive?  Is prayer like a genie in a bottle, granting us all our wishes?  Not quite.  We must ask “in faith,” and “in the name of Christ.”  When we pray “in the name of Christ,” we are acting as his agents, praying for that which he would desire, just as if we had a power of attorney and were acting in the name of a relative who was out of the country, or as if we were a real estate agent and were making an offer on a home in the name of our client.  When we act in someone else’s name, we are doing what they would want done.

So if we are praying “in the name of Christ,” as Enos was, and we are praying for what Christ wants anyway, what is the point of praying?  Why did Enos have to cry unto the Lord “continually” over a long period of time?  The Bible Dictionary answers our question:

“Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.  The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”  (Bible Dictionary, p. 752-753)

Enos continued:

“And I had faith, and I did cry unto God that he would preserve the records; and he covenanted with me that he would bring them forth unto the Lamanites in his own due time.  And I, Enos, knew it would be according to the covenant which he had made; wherefore my soul did rest.

“And the Lord said unto me: Thy fathers have also required of me this thing; and it shall be done unto them according to their faith; for their faith was like unto thine.”  (Enos 1:16-18)

FORGIVENESS BREEDS CHARITY

What made Enos care so much about the welfare of the Nephites and the Lamanites?

Enos, early in his life, had prayed for his own welfare, for a forgiveness of his sins, and was told by the Lord that he was forgiven (Enos 1:4-5).  His relief was immense and almost incredulous.

“And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.  And I said: Lord, how is it done?

“And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ…wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.” (Enos 1:6-8)

Enos’s story contains the sequence found over and over in the scriptures:  As soon as one obtains a forgiveness of his sins and thereby is filled with the Spirit and the accompanying pure love of Christ, he is then immediately filled with a desire to help those in his sphere of influence, because that’s what the love of Christ is and does; he desires to bless others as he has been blessed.  (See for example Mosiah 28.)

Enos’s story also illustrates the truth that faith in Jesus Christ must precede repentance (see Article of Faith 4).  But beginner faith will do.  Enos’ faith is shown by the mere fact that he prayed for repentance and that he had some knowledge of God, for example he knew “that God could not lie.”

THE IMPORTANCE OF PARENTAL TEACHING

And now we are back at the beginning of the story, where we find out how Enos received this first bit of faith, this knowledge that changed his life and the lives of those who heard him preach and those who have read his words.

“Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart, and my soul hungered…” (Enos 1:3-4)

There is no way to know whether Enos was a rebellious or irreligious young man prior to this experience (we all have need of repentance), but his father Jacob planted words in Enos’s mind which came back to him at the time they were needed.  This was not an unlikely or unusual occurrence that has no relevance to our lives: it is a promise the Lord has repeatedly made to parents.

“If parents will continually set before their children examples worthy of their imitation and the approval of our Father in Heaven, they will turn the current, and the tide of feelings of their children, and they, eventually, will desire righteousness more than evil.”  President Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 208

“More than we can imagine, our faithful effort to offer to our family the testimony we have of the truth will be multiplied in power and extended in time.”  President Henry B. Eyring, April 1996 General Conference

“What a mother teaches a child doesn’t get erased.”  Sheri Dew, No One Can Take Your Place, p. 36

“If you mothers will live your religion, then in love and fear of God teach your children constantly and thoroughly in the way of life and salvation, training them up in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it.  I promise you this; it is as true as the shining sun, it is an eternal truth.”  President Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 206

Do remember the “old” part of that promise!  We don’t know how “old” our children may be when they finally cling to the gospel truths, in fact:

“Not all problems are overcome and not all needed relationships are fixed in mortality.  The work of salvation goes on beyond the veil of death, and we should not be too apprehensive about incompleteness within the limits of mortality.”  Elder Dallen H. Oaks, October 1995 General Conference

This knowledge can remove our terror of having “an empty chair in heaven.”  Things that are beyond our control as parents, are not beyond the control of Heavenly Father.

“Now, sometimes there are those [children] that are lost.  We have the promise of the prophets that they are not lost permanently, that if they are sealed in the temple ordinances and if the covenants are kept, in due time, after all the correction that’s necessary to be given, that they will not be lost.”  President Boyd K. Packer, Quorum of Twelve Apostles, Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Feb. 9, 2008

Sister Lant gave a beautiful summary of all the above promises, with which I will close:

“If our parenting is based on the teachings of the scriptures and of the latter-day prophets, we cannot go wrong…We will not be perfect at it, and our families will not always respond positively, but we will be building a strong foundation of righteous traditions that our children can depend on.  They can hold to that foundation when things get difficult, and they can return to that foundation if they should stray for a period of time…

“As we become ‘steadfast and immovable’ in keeping the commandments of the Lord, we will secure the blessings of heaven for ourselves and for our families.”  President Cheryl C. Lant, Primary General President, April 2008 General Conference

Doctrine and Covenants Lesson #45 The Family is Ordained of God

(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children...Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations" (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

Of course, this responsibility to teach our children to joyfully live the gospel is more easily said than done. Each one of our children is different than any other child who has ever lived. The circumstances of every person's life is different than every other person's life. The variety of situations we can come across in raising a single child is staggering. There is no parenting manual that can cover every contingency, so how do we get it right? There is only one way: We must be in constant touch with the Spirit of the Lord. The Lord knows our children, and can tell us exactly how to deal with every situation.

"And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive" (D&C 11:12-13).

To be able to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, we must have faith (1 Nephi 10:17), and hope (Romans 15:13), and charity (Mosiah 3:19). In turn, as we heed the Holy Ghost, he will give us more of these three qualities (Mosiah 3:19). Faith, hope, and charity and the guidance of the Holy Ghost will lead us and our families to Eternal Life (Ether 12:28; Moroni 10:21-21).

THE PROBLEM WITH PERFECTIONISM

During his mortal ministry, Jesus said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matt. 5:48). After his resurrection, he said, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect" (3 Nephi 12:48). Of course, the implication here is huge. Even Jesus, who committed no sin, was not perfected in this earthly life.

Why is it important to know this? Because giving up the illusion that perfection is possible in earthly life allows us to be patient, and that attribute is absolutely necessary for the exercise of faith, hope, and charity, and for our eventual perfection. "But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing" (James 1:4).

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM BUILDS OUR FAITH

If everything in life went as we expected, as we thought was fair, we would never have need to exercise faith. Conversely, understanding the truth that this life is not going to be perfect, fair, or logical (to our minds), means we won't react with shock and disappointment when something unpleasant happens. Instead we can remember that this unwanted circumstance is an opportunity to trust in the Lord. "We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable" (Elder Robert C. Oaks, "The Power of Patience," October 2006 General Conference).

In our family, this principle was most powerfully taught to us as we tried to adopt a child from Russia. The short version is that after my husband had spent several years working on a joint U.S./Russian project, we felt powerfully guided by the Lord to go to Russia and look for a four-year-old girl to join our family. The first adoption we attempted became "stuck" as, before the paperwork went through, the child's birthmother decided to try to come back to her daughter after she was released from prison. We were bewildered as we felt the Lord had guided our steps, and now we were at a stalemate. As we continued to ask the Lord what to do, and as the opportunity to adopt other children became available, the answer to our prayers for a year and a half was always the same: "Just continue in the same direction." Then our facilitator emigrated to America, leaving us high and dry without any connection in Krasnodar. This was a great trial to our faith.

But suddenly, a different path opened up: Through an on-line adoption support group, I found a new facilitator in Krasnodar, who immediately took up our case, looked into the situation, and then sadly told us it was hopeless. "But," he wrote in an e-mail, "it is my experience that when this happens, it means God has another child for you." These words went straight to our hearts as truth, and we knew it was finally time to let the first child go. A few days later, we received an e-mail with five photographs of a beautiful little four-year-old girl, with a melancholy expression, who was available for immediate adoption. The first photograph made my heart skip a beat. I felt it was the Spirit telling me, "This is your child." Our facilitator had chosen this child because she looked like the first one. The Department of Education let us easily adopt her despite their opposition to our large family, because the previous administration had already approved us. They believed we were sincere, because we had waited two years without giving up. They were impressed that we were able to speak some Russian, which the two-year wait had allowed us to learn. In addition, the long delay allowed me to study and learn a great deal about foreign and older child adoption and attachment, which was immensely helpful in our daughter's successful integration into American family life. She even fit every article of clothing I had purchased or made for the first child two years before. And there is also the possibility, although we will probably never know, that our persistence in trying to adopt the first child may have actually cleaned up her birthmother's life and reunited the two of them.

The first photo we saw of our daughter.

A situation that was hugely imperfect (in our eyes) allowed us to learn to trust in the Lord, and that trust led to the perfect resolution. "Now faith is the [assurance] of things hoped for, the [proof] of things not seen." (Hebrews 11: 1, using Greek alternate words) The assurance that past problems were resolved successfully proves that other "catastrophies" will work out well, under the Lord's supervision.

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM INCREASES OUR HOPE

"...Neither can ye be saved in the kingdom of God if ye have not faith; neither can ye if ye have no hope. And if ye have no hope ye must needs be in despair; and despair cometh because of iniquity" (Moroni 10:21-22). Hope is so important a principle that failing to exercise it is "iniquity!" When we expect perfection, it is easy to give in to despair, because somewhere along the way things will go wrong, at least according to our plan. Then we find ourselves breaking the Savior's commandment to "be of good cheer" and that iniquity brings us to despair (D&C 78:18). But we can "inherit the promises" when we exercise the "full assurance of hope unto the end" (Hebrews 6:11-12).

"Hope we have as an achor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec" (Hebrews 6:20). Inasmuch as Jesus was made perfect beyond the veil in the next life, his Atonement makes it possible to hope that our families may also be perfected there.

GIVING UP PERFECTIONISM ALLOWS US TO FREELY LOVE

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering [elements of patience], by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness [elements of charity], and pure knowledge [the guidance of the Holy Spirit], which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile...Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God..." (D&C 121:41, 45, italics added).

In order to lead others, it is necessary for us to be patient with others, to love them deeply, and to be guided by the Spirit. We are commanded to exercise this kind of patience and love towards all of our family members, not just to those who are presently following the gospel plan (the household of faith). Love is not just the method that ought to be employed in order to influence others; it is the only way we can influence others.

As we look around us, we can see evidence that God loves each person, regardless of where they stand in life and in gospel understanding, and He extends His tender mercies to them. Despite being perfect Himself, He is infinitely patient with His imperfect children, and will keep the way open for them to come closer to Him. Every step, however small, that a person makes toward God will be rewarded by Him, and another step will be encouraged. Though our progress may be slow, He continues His offer to lead us along, to the last day of our lives on this earth. "The scriptures warn us, 'Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance.' But, in this life, it is never too late to repent" (Elder Neil L. Anderson, "Repent...That I May Heal You," October 2009 General Conference).

IMPERFECTION BLESSES US

It is an ironic gospel truth that the perfect condition for this mortal existence is imperfection.

The fallen state of this earth and its inhabitants allows us the perfect opportunity to grow in faith, hope and charity, and to rely upon the influence of the Holy Ghost. As we do so, we will be lead with our families safely to exaltation if we "continue in patience until [we] are perfected" (D&C 67:13). For "God...will render to every man according to his deeds: to them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life" (Romans 2:5-7).